remembering gratitude

I am so grateful for all lives around me that remind me of what’s truly important: love is worth fighting for. Bringing my mom to a jazz club last night made me realize the importance of family with community. I feel that the healing for all of us is right in front of us.

Every day I am also reminded of our present moment and its necessity. While I feel my attachments gripping me in most times of stress or anxiousness, I feel at home with my mom and the presents of her shared company.   I muse over the ways in which she hovers over me with deep concern and care. I’ve noticed the quickness to define these as different and lash out when the concern arose. But I am more capable when I can switch into a mode of deep caring and reach out to my higher self to comfort the situation.

In terms of care for myself, I am learning every day. Cleaning, eating, cooking, being out, and exercise,AHh! yet my sobriety still feels like an obstacle. As my environment changes I trust that I can learn to adapt and take any situation from its highest place and take care of the present moment like a child.  I often feel negative energies or snakes all around me these days, knowing its my reflection of my fear , I know what I’m doing yet I feel completely in the clouds. “Oh shhh.. I say. get on the ground..” The criticism of my being makes me deeply sad. yet I walk on, looking to find my people to move towards flight and groundedness.